The Time Traveller’s Wi-Fi

This video made it onto the BBC News website, and so is certainley being taken seriously by some. Either that, or it is a BBC-backed plug for this guys own movies and film festival that he introduces at the beginning. Hmm, anyway.

In case you missed it, the theory is that the larger woman wearing a hat that walks behind the zebra on the set of the Charlie Chaplin movie, ‘The Circus’, is a time-traveller. The reason? She is evidently talking on a mobile phone. There’s simply no other explanation according to George Clarke, the Irish movie-maker.

His reasoning: she is talking (lips are moving, blah blah yada yada). She is holding her hand to her face, with her fingers curved and knuckles showing as you would a phone (not an ear-piece, which when he pointed out did make me laugh.) And there is a ‘black object’ in her hand. She also very conspiratorially looks straight at the camera whilst on her mobile as if to say “I know you’re watching me, and I’m watching you. Check this shiz out.” Oh, and most importantly, she could be a man in drag. But more on that later.

I love a good conspiracy theory. And I was ready to watch this BBC-endorsed video and at least consider the possibilities of “what if?” But there are a few things that just don’t follow:

    1. Let’s say she did time travel, and remembered to take her mobile with her. Where is the mobile reception coming from, to allow her to talk on the phone? Unless O2 or Vodafone have a trick up their sleeve, and are just waiting to launch their “fastest and widest-ranging network speeds ever, now froom 1910 – 2010!” this is my biggest problem with the whole theory.The only counter-theory would be if Charlie Chaplin had himself worked out time travel, and moved the entire set of ‘The Circus’ into the future, say even to 2010, and this lady inadvertedly wandered onto the set whilst discussing whether Cher is going to win X-Factor with her friend whilst on her iPhone / Blackberry.

 

  • Surely if we in the future, or even now, are sophisticated enough to time travel, we would do so with style and adopt a blue-tooth head set? Just sayin.

 

 

  • Who is she talking to? Is there someone else who has also time travelled back in time? And again, if so, surely they would have a more sophisticated means of keeping in touch.

 

 

  • Why is this guy so obsessed with whether the subject of the video is a woman, or a man “in drag”? He refers to it once before we’ve even seen the clip, again points out she’s quite “manly” as we’re watching it, even dwells on her feet and gait as if to suggest it’s a “manly walk” and then at one point refers to the subject as “he, ah ha, I mean she”. Is this relevant at all? Have we time travelled back to the 1920s ourselves where it is inconceivable that a woman, yes a woman!, would be allowed to time travel when surely it’s a man’s job?

 

Whatever the reason for George’s apparent obessesion with the sex of a slightly larger woman who has big feet, it lowers his credibility. He admits he has been watching this for a year. In the 2 minutes that the clip is looped in this video, slowed down, zoomed in, sped up, I got a bit fed up watching it the sixth time. Nothing changed since the first time! He has obviously done this an awful lot for the past year, and it really feels like he’s trying to make the most out of these 6 seconds that he can, including theorising the gender of the time traveller and wondering why the time traveller looks straight at the camera. The key word being “obsession” which seems to be clouding his judgement.

I would be one of the first to jump on the bandwagon of a credible, viral video that could maybe possible perhaps prove time travel. But the fact this guy, in the whole year he has been watching it, hasn’t once thought about the fundamental problem of where the mobile phone / 3G / wi-fi signal is coming from bothers me.

Well, I speak too soon. He may have considered this, and he may have an answer. If so, I’d genuinely like to hear it. Until then, I’m not convinced.

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This is the woman

And this is the man.

And this is my favourite ad campaign of the moment, fashion brand French Connection’s autumn collection. The stars of the campaign are the nameless “Man” and “Woman” in a combination of jaunty, suggestive, humorous and typical Blue Steel-esque poses with quirky one-liners. I admit, they do tickle me.

French Connection first made a big name for themselves when they rebranded with their acronym of French Connection UK: FCUK. I was around 14, and that was back when swearing wasn’t as common place as it is now. So fcuk at once allowed us to use a near-swear word, and one that meant sex. Even at the tender age of 14 I remember loving it, a lot. I proudly cut out and stuck up the “fcuk. my place now” sign on my bedroom door (oh to be a teenager again and use my bedroom walls as the canvas for my angst and hormones.)

fcuk have remained off my in-built advertising-antenae for a while since this first big hit, and they are a shop that until recently I haven’t shopped in much. But this recent campaign is the sole reason I perked up my ears, picked up my wallet, and ventured into the store. I respect their humourful approach, and adore the combination of fashion-in-your-face with tongue-in-cheek “you want to be these beautiful people, don’t you?” attitude they have taken.

Because, really, everyone wants to be The Man and The Woman. The ads portray them as characters, with stereotyped characteristics, embodying the trends of the moment in a far more subtle way than other high street stores. The Woman is delicate, refined, her words are in small letters. She is demure, teasing, glittering in sequins, glamorous but understated. The Man is bold, assertive, even “angered”, a Wolf, everything the word ‘man’ in lumberjack shirts and untamed beard should be. (Reminiscent of Calvin Klein’s fragrance launched last year, MAN.)

And the most noticeable, yet so subtle it goes unnoticed, aspect is that the Woman and the Man are, respectively, too ellusive and alluring, too sultry and sullen, to speak. Instead, a third voice tells us about them. They are important enough to be narrated about. Unnamed, voiceless and magnicifent, don’t you wish you could be them?

On a surface level, to look at, the ads are beautifully shot (by the same cinematographer who worked on the lavish A Single Man – Eduard Grau).  And there’s something quite refreshing about a grizzled, unshaven man as opposed to either the clean-cut officeman or too-tight-trousered trendsters.

On a subconscious level, the nameless everyWoman and everyMan tell us what we should also like to do and want to look like. Let’s face it, all fashion and beauty advertising does this, gives us a subconcious impression of how we could look just so we can buy the product in an attempt at imitation. But this ad is so subtle and yet explicit about this – “here is the Woman. Look at the Woman. Don’t you want to be the Woman? Look at her dazzle. Dazzle like the Woman.” – that it stands out because of it, and it works.

Well, it certainley worked on me. The first piece of my winter wardrobe has been acquired – a cute little golden top number – and I’m now eyeing up those coats. After all, the Woman is Preparing for Winter.

The full campaign, with shoot log and videos, on frenchconnection.com

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I love this city tonight

After catching the train back from Edinburgh last night, and arriving into a beautiful, frosty, moonlit night in Glasgow I decided to take the long one-hour walk back home to the soundtrack of my iphone Genius shuffle.  And when arriving at Charing Cross, the mid-point mark, I was enjoying the hushed wintery night-time atmosphere so much, I decided to take the long way home and walk around the West End first.

With nothing but my iphone for company, I got snap-happy with the new Instamatic app. That is until about 15 minutes into my detour the temperature dropped another 5C to what felt like below freezing (either that or the couple glasses of red wine wore off) and I couldn’t feel my fingers.

So, an ode to Glasgow by moonlight in some suitably Gothic images, a week before Halloween.

Stravaigin, my second home for brunch and burgers

The ever-impressive and imposing Kelvingrove Museum

The University by moonlight in all its gothic splendour

The Long Way Home gin-den and bar. Rather apt I thought.

 Call me a sentamentalist, but Glasgow I’m going to miss you.
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So there’s a blog now

To make an impression, it is general knowledge that one should always be fashionably late. And so with a slashdotdashdot bang arrives this blog to join the many, many, many others floating around the infinity of the interwebs.

When once a person would raise one eyebrow and cautiously ask “you have a blog?” now the same person is more likely to draw a mock-shocked breath and exclaim “you don’t have a blog yet?!” Despite professing an inherent geek-chic aptitude and being a veteran blogger before my time with a two-year record on xanga from back in the dark days of dial-up, there is no longer a jen-shaped hole in the cyber-Universe. Et voila, jenlovesit.com is created.

Mmm, smell that? That’s new-blog smell. Good, isn’t it? Well, no not really, because no one likes an empty blog. So let’s get to it.

A few preliminary notes:

1. Yes my name is Jennifer Lovatt, and yes, I love it. The good-natured teasing of my namesake never gets old (for those new to my name…) And when considering at length a suitable title for this here blog that could suitably sum-up my online opinions and lifestyle soapbox, I realised it had been staring me in the face the whole time. The name for my blog should be my name. Simple.

2. So, jenlovesit.com is a lifestyle and opinion blog that will unashamedly cover all the things that I, jen, love. These being, in no particular order:

running, dancing, cooking, eating, vintage, Victoriana, baking, living well, keeping fit, geek-chic,  nouveau media, socialazzi-savvy, popular culture, unpopular culture, funnies, fashion.

This means at some stage I’ll probably end up blogging about:

“instagram vs hipstamatic” apps, observations on running etiquette, ELLE, mac mascara & dior lipstick, Anna Karenina, book-clubbing, party-clubbing, lemon&blueberry drizzle cake, pumpkin risotto, xkcd, failbook, Rocky-esque motivational montages, “Ladies, look at your man, now back to me, I’m on a horse”, the Big Lebowski, white russians, caipirinhas, salsa dancing, street & hiphop, pictures of cats, The Doors, Two Door Cinema Club, The Who, The Go! Team, why leather skirts should never have come back in fashion. And then some.

So, off sails my first blog post on its maiden voyage. Gods speed little pixels, gods speed.

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